learn what your personal love language says about you
If you’re married or otherwise in a committed relationship, you probably want to express your love to your spouse or partner. However, there are occasions when we feel that our displays of affection are ignored or misinterpreted. Simply said, you and your spouse can communicate in different “love languages.”
According to the Love Language theory, when a partner shows them love in their preferred “language,” the recipient feels the most cherished. Understanding the love language of your partner will help you better understand how they express and accept love.
Four of the Five Love Languages
Gift-Giving, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time are the five different categories of love languages. Discover what your love language says about you, your partner, and your relationship by continuing to read.
Gift-Giving
The gift-giving language is as straightforward as it seems, but it is frequently misunderstood. If you speak this love language, it signifies that you prefer physical gestures over spoken expressions of love. Whether it’s a cheap key chain or a pricey string of pearls, both convey the same message: “I care about you and am thinking about you.”
The fundamental essence of gift-giving isn’t opulence, it’s sentiment, whether your partner gives you pearls as a token of their love on your 30th anniversary or flowers just because they cared. If receiving gifts makes you feel appreciated, you will value them no matter how modest they are or the occasion.
Never forget your anniversary or your partner’s birthday if you both speak the same language; these occasions are significant to them and they will probably be offended if you do. Small acts of kindness, such as buying chocolates on an arbitrary day or having their preferred meal delivered to their workplace, can express your love. Or, if your lady enjoys being outside, choose a gift for her travels.
Service Efforts
The proverb “actions speak louder than words” has probably crossed your mind. The Acts of Service love language is based on this phrase.
Acts of Service are probably your preferred love language if you value deeds above words. Even if it’s just making you coffee in the morning or bringing you your favourite croissant for breakfast—or a more extravagant romantic gesture like giving you breakfast in bed—you undoubtedly enjoy and appreciate all the little things your partner does for you.
Love is sensed by obvious behaviors, not goods, unlike someone who expresses love through giving gifts. If this describes you, you probably like when your partner shows their love by providing thoughtful assistance and support, like packing your lunch when you have a full day or making a clean bed and placing your favorite cologne on your pillow.
If you have a feeling that your partner expresses love through acts of service, consider how you might make their life better by seeking out little gestures that will make them smile. You might cook them their favorite meal, clean their car on short notice, or deliver ice cold beverages to them after a hot day’s labor at a construction site.
Physical Touch
If physical touch is your preferred method of communication, you will enjoy both intimate and non intimate touch more than verbal praise or material gifts. You value gestures like a hug, kiss, or handshake very highly. You undoubtedly enjoy cuddling with your lover and see it as a wonderful way to deepen your connection. Create emotional connection with your spouse through touch if physical touch is your preferred method of communication. And you value every little touch that comes your way. After a long day at work, a kiss from your partner can instantly help you release the day’s tension and boost you.
Give your lover a huge embrace when they get home from work to show them how much you care if their love language is likewise physical touch. A careless shoulder rub, a lengthy kiss, or cuddling together to watch a movie would also be wonderful ways to express your affection.
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation are encouraging phrases that express your love for your spouse. They are compliments and words of support meant to lift someone up and make them feel valued and cherished. Words of Affirmation may be your preferred method of communication if you are a sensitive person who values language.
You would likely be the first to notice your partner’s tone of speech or inquire about a coworker’s ailing mother. Words mean more to you than material things do. Your day can be completely changed by a simple “you are the best” or “I couldn’t have done this without you.” You have a way with words and a talent for finding the perfect phrase to make people feel better. People tend to seek out those who speak this language for advice because they are frequently excellent communicators.
Showing your lover that you understand how they are feeling and empathize will mean a lot if their preferred love language is Words of Affirmation. Positive words fulfill your partner with this love language, so take advantage of the chance to compliment, value, and uplift them. And tell them you love them often.
Quality Time
The focus of the Quality Time love language is spending uninterrupted time with your partner. Probably regardless of the activity, you enjoy your partner’s companionship if this is your love language. When your partner makes an effort each day to set aside time only for you, they are showing you the kind of love that makes you feel the most appreciated. You value quality time with your partner more than flattery, presents, or physical contact. You love spending time with your partner doing activities such as riding, boating, hiking, eating supper together, talking about your day (eye contact strengthens connection), and so on. These kinds of activities give you a sense of worth, significance, and comprehension.
However, many people may find it difficult to fully introduce themselves or to listen intently, especially in this high-tech age. If quality time is your preferred method of communication, you might find it offensive if your spouse becomes preoccupied with their phone while you’re speaking to them. You’ll probably get annoyed by this split focus, and you might even get the impression they don’t care about you
If you believe that spending quality time with your lover is their preferred method of receiving affection, learn how to do it by being totally present for them. Making eye contact and asking insightful questions are also crucial components of conversation. Don’t forget to set aside time just for the two of you, whether it be for a special dinner, a short getaway, or a joint workout at the gym.
You may quickly identify your love language by paying close attention to the things that make you feel the most loved. Do you enjoy receiving attention or would you prefer to hear some pleasant words? Is spending time with a close friend or your partner fulfilling? Or do you adore getting gifts of any size? Acts of service may be one of your key love languages if they make you feel cherished, such as when your partner watches the kids so you can go for a run or a coworker stops by Starbucks to bring you your favorite latte.
Understanding the many love languages will improve your relationships with others as well as with yourself, your partner, and yourself.
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